What kind of record-keeper are you? Some folks are great at remembering expenses, tracking progress, knowing the balances and status of all accounts, all the time. This attention to detail is admirable and desirable in many arenas of life. But, when it comes to relationships, it can be devastating. Record-keeping and an elephant-like recall of the hurts, offenses and disappointments inflicted on us by others destroy more marriages, friendships and partnerships than you can imagine.
Relationship record-keepers file their pain away, holding on to it rather than releasing it. They are emotional hoarders. Not only do they not forget the smallest infractions against them, they don’t let you forget them either. In moments of their choosing, their litany of hurts is unleashed, over and over again. The offenses are never forgiven, and they’re certainly never forgotten.
It’s been said that people have a tendency to remember the things they should forget and forget the things they should remember. It’s true in relationships for sure. No relationship can survive or thrive in an atmosphere of emotional blackmail, condemnation and perpetual unforgiveness. Letting go of past hurts, offenses and disappointments is necessary for relationship health, and for personal happiness. Bitter, resentful, grudge-holding people not only make others miserable, they’re miserable!
A key part of love is forgiveness. The Bible says, “Love … keeps no record of wrongs …” (See 1 Corinthians 13:5). The God-kind of love releases, forgives. It gives grace to people who hurt you, even when they don’t deserve it. God’s love keeps the spirit and soul clean and free from hatred, resentment and revenge. It wipes the record of offenses clean, refusing to regularly revisit the past.
What record of wrongs are you holding on to? Burn those books today! Forgive, release, let go. You’ll be better off when you do, and so will your relationships!