“It’s not supposed to be this way!” These are the words of a newly wed describing disappointment in the first years of marriage. When pressed for specifics, some deep misconceptions came to light. This individual had entered into the bonds of holy matrimony with blissful, romantic expectations of a “happily ever after” life. They didn’t anticipate, and frankly were not prepared for, the reality of the relationship. They felt they had been deceived, short-changed, and ripped off by their spouse. And they were angry about it.
These situations happen regularly in all kinds of relationships. People expect one thing and experience another. Almost always the “other” they experience is, at least to them, more of a nightmare than a nice dream. And they are angry about it. Much anger in people is fueled by disappointed expectations of others.
The expectation of dreamy relationships is perpetuated by romantic movies and novels. Frustrations are exacerbated by the mindset of a culture that wants life to be easy and believes that good things should come quickly without much, if any, effort.
These ways of thinking breed a “run away” approach to problems. When the going gets tough, when you don’t like what you’re feeling, when people aren’t meeting your needs and fulfilling your desires, the way out is to run out.
Real love doesn’t think and act this way. The Bible says that “love … always perseveres” (See 1 Corinthians 13:7). To “persevere” is to remain, or more literally, to remain under the pressure!
Why does true love persevere? Because is based on something more valuable and substantial than emotions. The God-kind of love is founded on commitment.
Commitment keeps you in place when your feelings want you to run. By persevering you’re given the opportunity to grow, change and mature. Persevering grows you — the inside you — and makes you a better person. Real love perseveres!