Video Devotionals
Friday, June 29, 2018
The Power of an Apology
| 1:06 min read |
The toughest words for some people to say are “I’m sorry.” Apologies are too often viewed as a sign of weakness. Pride and stubbornness cause people to dig their heels into the proverbial ground and refuse to admit their relationship mistakes.
As hard as it may be to do, apologies are extremely beneficial, not only to others but to us. When we say “I’m sorry,” we’re owning responsibility for our weaknesses, failures, brokenness, sinfulness, and insensitivities. An apology is a good reality check for us. It’s is a sign of self-awareness and emotional maturity. It’s also a way to grow in humility.
When we grow in humility, we position ourselves for blessings from God. James, the apostle, reminded us of this in James 4:6 (TPT) “ … God resists you when you are proud but continually pours out grace when you are humble.”
This verse alone should motivate us to be quick to acknowledge our failures. It should remove from us any hindrance to stepping up and saying “I’m sorry!” The opportunity to access increased grace and favor from God should make apologies attractive to us!
Pastor Dale
Thursday, June 28, 2018
Resolving Conflicts
| 1:29 min read |
How do you handle disagreements with others? Even the most compatible people sometimes differ. People have different personalities, different values, different opinions and different perspectives that can cause conflict. To have great relationships we must know how to deal with differences.
Sometimes our differences become conflicts. We find ourselves at odds with someone. Voices are raised. Harsh words are spoken. People are hurt. Distance is created. Emotional walls are built. Our friends become enemies.
How can you resolve these conflicts? Here’s a couple of great Bible verses that direct us in dealing with relationship difficulties:
Romans 12:18 (TLB) “Don’t quarrel with anyone. Be at peace with everyone, just as much as possible.”
Romans 14:19 (TPT) “So then, make it your top priority to live a life of peace with harmony in your relationships, eagerly seeking to strengthen and encourage one another.”
Conflicts are resolved when we place a high value and high priority on peace. When peace is a priority, it is pursued. Relationships improve when two people stop attacking one another and attack the problems that are hindering their friendship. Peace comes when people view themselves as members of the same team, rather than opponents. This change in perspective creates an entirely different attitude and approach to our differences.
Turn your enemies into friends again by attacking problems instead of attacking each other.
Pastor Dale
Wednesday, June 27, 2018
Dealing with Differences
| 1:08 min read |
How do you handle disagreements with others? Even the most compatible people sometimes differ. People have different personalities, different values, different opinions and different perspectives that can cause conflict. To have great relationships we must know how to deal with differences.
Here are a few Bible verses from the book of Proverbs that guide us in handling conflict:
Proverbs 17:14 (NLT) “Starting a quarrel is like opening a floodgate, so stop before a dispute breaks out.”
Proverbs 20:3 (NLT) “Avoiding a fight is a mark of honor; only fools insist on quarreling.”
Proverbs 18:6, 7 (TLB) “A fool gets into constant fights. His mouth is his undoing! His words endanger him.”
These verses teach us several principles. The most important is that our differences shouldn’t divide us. They shouldn’t create personal attacks and ongoing contention between us. As it’s been said, you don’t have to always see eye to eye to walk hand in hand.
Where have you allowed your differences with someone to turn into division? Differences are differences. They don’t have to destroy your relationships.
Pastor Dale
Tuesday, June 26, 2018
No More Neediness
| 1:28 min read |
What are some of the things that damage, hinder or potentially destroy relationships? One thing is neediness.
There is a big difference between appropriately needing people as friends, and in being a needy person. The first is healthy, the latter isn’t.
Neediness in a relationship happens when one person looks to another person to meet their deepest, unmet, and oftentimes overwhelming emotional needs, that are impossible for anyone to meet. These needs become expectations. And the failed expectations become disappointment and anger, and lead to tension and conflict.
Many problems in marriages and friendships happen because of neediness—expecting and trying to get someone to meet needs that are unrealistic for any person to meet, or that the other person is unable to meet because of their own personal issues.
What’s the solution to neediness? It’s spiritual and emotional maturity. It’s recognizing that you’re placing expectations on people that are not fair and not appropriate. It’s acknowledging that you’re hoping other people will meet needs in your life that only God can meet.
The Psalm writer said it this way in Psalm 16:5 (NIV) “Lord, you alone are my portion and my cup; you make my lot secure.”
Only God can meet our deepest needs for love, acceptance and security. When we stop expecting others to do what they can do, and trust God to do for us what He can do, our lives and relationships become much more peaceful.
Pastor Dale
Monday, June 25, 2018
Overcoming Insecurity
| 1:28 min read |
Everybody has personal challenges that hold them back, hinder their progress and frustrate their desires. We all have “issues!”
One “issue” that afflicts many of us is a sense of inadequacy, insecurity, and for some, even inferiority. These feelings run like malware in our minds, keeping us from giving and being our best. They get in the way of our relationships, work, and happiness.
Insecurity shows up in different ways in different people. Often highly successful people are driven by their insecurities. They live with the fear of their inadequacies being discovered. This is sometimes referred to as “the imposter syndrome.”
Sometimes insecurity paralyzes a person and keeps them from any success. They live far beneath their potential because of the messages in their mind that rob them of personal confidence.
What’s the answer to insecurity? How can we overcome it?
Take a look at the following Bible verse. As a follower of Jesus Christ, this is who you are, Ephesians 2:10 (NLT) “For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.”
To break free of the driving force of insecurity, we need to know that we’re a masterpiece of God. Think about that for a moment. You are a masterpiece! Let this truth start sinking into your thinking. Let it dictate what you believe about yourself. It will free you from the haunting, nagging feeling of never being enough!
Pastor Dale
Friday, June 22, 2018
Help
| 1:19 min read |
In 1965 The Beatles released a song, written by John Lennon named Help! The song became super popular. The lyrics resonated with one of the needs we all have—the need for help from others. Here’s part of what Lennon wrote:
“Help, I need somebody
Help, not just anybody
Help, you know I need someone …
Help me if you can, I’m feeling down
And I do appreciate you being ‘round
Help me get my feet back on the ground
Won’t you please, please help me?”
There are times in life when we need help — support. One of the characteristics of a good friend is their willingness and ability to help. It’s been said that a real friend is someone who comes in when everyone else walks out. That’s support!
While we need support, we also need to learn how to give it. What does supporting someone look like?
We support people by:
• Being present in times of trouble and need.
• Listening in ways that are positive, productive and helpful.
• Praying with and for them.
• Showing loyalty.
• Being gracious and forgiving.
• Encouraging.
• Believing in them and God’s plan for their lives.
• Giving guidance and input when it’s welcomed and wanted.
You can make a big difference in someone’s life by developing your support skills. Who do you need to come beside today with support? Be a helper.
Pastor Dale
Thursday, June 21, 2018
T.H.I.N.K. Before You Speak
| 1:33 min read |
Maybe you have the same problem I have at times. Sometimes I speak before I think! It’s a common failure.
A key ingredient in mature, healthy relationships is the discipline to think before speaking. God says it this way in Proverbs 10:19 (NLT) “Too much talk leads to sin. Be sensible and keep your mouth shut.” The Living Bible paraphrase brings this verse to life, “Don’t talk so much. You keep putting your foot in your mouth. Be sensible and turn off the flow!”
How true! Just a bit more self-control in our conversations would save us a lot of pain and help us avoid lots of relationship problems. We just need to think before we speak.
What does this mean? It means that, before we say something to someone, we need to filter it first. Here are some great filters to consider before saying things you could later regret:
• T = Is it true? If it’s not true, I don’t need to talk about it.
• H = Is it helpful (and healthful)? If not, you will be hurting someone.
• I = Is it inspiring? Does it put wind into someone sails for good, or take it away?
• N = Is it necessary? Much of what we say really isn’t necessary to say. We often say things to others more for ourselves—to get someone off our chest—to “give someone a piece of our mind”—rather than for their benefit. (Always remember, when you give someone a “piece of your mind,” what does it leave you with? Less of a mind!)
• K = Is it kind? How can I communicate in ways that reflect kindness and care?
When you think before you speak, your friendships flourish!
Pastor Dale
Wednesday, June 20, 2018
Tenderize Your Tongue
| 1:12 min read |
Most of us have experienced that disappointing moment when we bite down on a food item expecting it to be soft and tender only to discover that it’s tough and gristly. The texture doesn’t match the appearance or fulfill our expectations.
Gristly food isn’t appetizing. Neither are gristly words! Unfortunately, there are too many hard words bantered about in our homes, workplaces, and culture. The results are broken relationships, misunderstandings, hurt feelings and bitter divisions.
To build good relationships and build lasting friendships, we must remove the gristle from our words. What does this mean?
Gristly words are:
• Angry and harsh words.
• Insensitive statements.
• Sarcastic and belittling comments.
• Tactless words.
• Ill-timed words.
The Bible calls us to tenderize our tongues. Look at what the writer of Proverbs said about this in Proverbs 15:4 (NLT) “Gentle words are a tree of life…” The Hebrew word translated “gentle” literally means words that bring health, healing, remedies, restoration and that cure illness.
It’s time to tenderize our tongues! As we do, we become healers in a hurting world. Tender tongues build friendships!
Pastor Dale
Tuesday, June 19, 2018
Develop Good Ears
| 1:42 min read |
Everybody needs friends. The best way to have friends is to be a good friend to others. What’s one of the best ways to be a good friend? By listening. We need to be people with good ears!
The Bible is the best relationship manual that exists. Take a look at what God says about listening in James 1:19 (NIV) “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.”
In this verse, there is one “quick” and two “slows.” The one thing we’re told to be quick about is listening! Our promptness in listening to others helps us build healthy relationships with others. We need good ears!
Here 7 actions and attitudes that will make you a better listener:
• Be sincerely interested in others. You can’t fake true listening.
• Make eye-contact, positive tones in your voice, and a body posture that communicates “I’m paying attention to you!”
• When someone is talking, encourage them with phrases like, “Tell me more!” or “That’s interesting.” Let them know you’re tracking with them and are interested in them.
• Ask follow-up questions, without interrogating people.
• Give feedback on what you’re hearing—affirming what you’re hearing and seeking greater clarification on what’s being communicated.
• Stop personal conversations in your mind when someone is engaging in in conversation with you—stop thinking about your reply or your story and listen to them.
• Practice, practice, practice listening. The practice will make you better!
One of the keys to strong friendships is the ability and willingness to be a good listener. Develop good ears, and you’ll have some good friends!
Pastor Dale