| 1:28 min read |
What are some of the things that damage, hinder or potentially destroy relationships? One thing is neediness.
There is a big difference between appropriately needing people as friends, and in being a needy person. The first is healthy, the latter isn’t.
Neediness in a relationship happens when one person looks to another person to meet their deepest, unmet, and oftentimes overwhelming emotional needs, that are impossible for anyone to meet. These needs become expectations. And the failed expectations become disappointment and anger, and lead to tension and conflict.
Many problems in marriages and friendships happen because of neediness—expecting and trying to get someone to meet needs that are unrealistic for any person to meet, or that the other person is unable to meet because of their own personal issues.
What’s the solution to neediness? It’s spiritual and emotional maturity. It’s recognizing that you’re placing expectations on people that are not fair and not appropriate. It’s acknowledging that you’re hoping other people will meet needs in your life that only God can meet.
The Psalm writer said it this way in Psalm 16:5 (NIV) “Lord, you alone are my portion and my cup; you make my lot secure.”
Only God can meet our deepest needs for love, acceptance and security. When we stop expecting others to do what they can do, and trust God to do for us what He can do, our lives and relationships become much more peaceful.