How To Stay Out of the Way

“You’re in the way!” It’s a phrase we sometimes hear, occasionally speak, and often think! It describes someone obstructing progress, being where they shouldn’t be,  or engaging in activities causing more harm than good.

The problem with “being in the way” is, we don’t always (or usually) know when we’re guilty of it. We frequently think we’re helping when our presence or actions are actually hurting. We’re oblivious to the fact we’re stirring up unnecessary trouble or creating more problems than we’re solving.

This tendency to “get in the way” affects our relationships. When we step into someone’s life, concerns, or business either uninvited, over-stepping our boundaries, or simply assuming we’re invited when we’re not, we become the problem. We start giving our opinions, forming our judgments, exerting control, making subtle (or not so subtle) demands, engaging in “behind the scenes” conversations and manipulations, trying to fix what we’re not called to or capable of fixing. None of this ends well. Many friendships have been destroyed because someone failed to “mind their own business.” They “got in the way.”

We can also “get in the way” of ourselves. Through negative thinking and destructive self-talk, we sabotage our personal progress. Our fears, defeated mindsets, helpless attitudes, and counter-productive habits become persistent obstacles keeping us from the victory, success, and fulfillment we long for. It’s true; we’re often our own worst enemy!

There’s another “in the way” we need to consider. We can “get in the way” of God. It seems strange to say, but yes, we can indeed become an obstacle to the work God seeks to do in others.

What does this look like? It happens when we see things we think need to be “fixed” or changed in someone’s life. We believe we “know” what the problems are, and we’re convinced we understand how to make things better. We’ve got the solution! So we interject ourselves. We may believe we’re “helping God” in the process. We step in by making semi-vague statements, cryptically suggesting things, exerting pressure in areas, or giving little hints to the person, seeking to convict them of some wrong, convince them of our notions, and get them to be or do what we believe is best.

The problem is. We often don’t know what’s best for someone else. We don’t know what God’s doing in another’s life. It’s arrogant to think we do. Our intrusions usually get in the way. They frequently create confusion, defensiveness, and resistance in the person. We end up making things worse instead of better. As the author Alexander Pope said, “fools rush in where angels fear to tread!” Many times this describes us—foolishly rushing into someone’s life attempting to “fix” things only God can fix.

Getting out of the way is important, whether with our family, friends, ourselves, or some person or situation we’re determined to “fix.” God knows what He’s doing. Trust Him. We all do better when we “get out of the way!”

Pastor Dale

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